It's Squat-o-ween Time Again.

squat·ter: noun : a person who occupies real property without a claim of right or title.
There ya go, brain trust. You wanted to know how I defined "squatter"..... Same as Merriam-Webster.

It's Halloween time again and on City of Heroes that means encounters with the delightful little hand-me-downs from Everquest who think they "own" something, in-game, just because they say they do. Look, fucktards (and I hate using that kind of immature pronoun, but you deserve it) I pay my fifteen beans a month, just like you do, so that door you've been camped out in front of ...chasing off all other interested parties... is as much mine as yours. So if, in this joyous holiday season that just brings out the very best in you little darlings, I want to "knock" on any given door, collect my "treat" (or trick, as the case may be) and move on, by God I'm going to.

This all stems from my last visit to the highways and byways of Paragon City being ruined by a gaggle of mouthy halfwits. You all know how it works... Some doors in the city trigger prizes or monsters when you click on em. I tend to treat this seasonal offering from Cryptic in the spirit it's intended. I hop hither and yon around the city clicking on every door I can find ...usually only once each... hoping (in my case) to score the necessary goodies to trade up for the extra costume slot. God knows why I want em ...once made, I'm usually pretty set in my costumes designs... but I do want em. Other people like to think of look at this as an opportunity to power-level, standing in groups in front of a door, each taking a turn activating it as they all kill whatever comes out. Lather, rinse, repeat. These are the fateful, star-crossed pathes that brought me verbally face to face with some Gomer named Brownwynde and his posse. I stood a moment near the door, waited until there was a brief lull in their orchestrated muggings, and then clicked on the door, figuring I'd collect my treat, or deal with my trick, and move along. (I got monsters, btw.) But no, this guy decides to open up with a barrage of of profanity-laced tirades and accusations about how this was "their" door and I should "go find my own" (among other things). They'd been working it for an hour and it was theirs and I was kill-stealing from them.

Now, I know I could have just blown them off and gone on my way. I know I could have. There's nothing they can do to me in-game just as there's nothing I can do to drive a meat-hook of common sense into their digitally-neanderthalic skulls. But, no.... Something always prevents me from letting people like this just get away with it unscathed. So out comes my dual-edged blade of patience and logic. (S'cuse me while I whip this out!) I calmly and politely explain to them my reasoning hoping, like hoping to win the Powerball, that they'll understand. See, I've learned in my many years of experience, that the key to success in these situations is to be calm and polite. It will either: A) Help your tone be more condusive to proving your case, or B) piss them the hell off that you're not willing to get as enraged as they are. In this case, after 20 minutes of "discussion" (I'll use that term loosely), they were simply not to be reasoned with. They started out being verbally abusive, thinking they'd just chase me away. When they realized this wasn't going to work, they actually switched tone mid-tirade to "look friend... we just got off on the wrong foot." Look, Poindexter... you don't follow up a verbal assault with civility. That ship has sailed. Ultimately, he was having none of my logic. In his eyes I had raped his wife and taken food from the mouths of his children, and he wasn't going to be convinced otherwise, which I told him I recognized. I wasn't going to waste any more of my breath on him. I finally told him I thought he was a squatter (to which he brilliantly responded "how do you define 'squatter'?") and told him maybe he should get a nice "NO TRESPASSING" sign for his door.

You know, in real life when one goes trick-or-treating, you don't get to stand guard in front of one house and chase off every other kid who wants some candy while you repeatedly ring the doorbell. Why the hell do you think you should get to in an online trick-or-treat simulation? This kind of thing seriously chaps my ass. Yes, probably more than it should, but it does. I'd like to see Cryptic give some serious thought to how they can curtail this kind of behavior. Perhaps allowing only one "knock" per door per character... Maybe offset by bigger "treats" and/or more doors being active. Alternately, make me a GM and give me the power to stake these people's asses out in the middle of the Perez Park swamp.